Giving up, giving in and giving your all

GIVING UP THE FAILUREPROOF WAY

"If you want to see the rainbow, you have to learn to dance in the rain".

There is a fine line between giving up because you are a weak quitter, and letting go because there is nothing left to fight for. The best and strongest person in the world is one who knows the difference and knows what to do!
Life hands us so many lemons at a time and at some point we are bound to get tired of making lemonade and following all other "think positively" quotes and advice pieces. When you tire, you tire and the best thing you can do is know that is okay because you too are human!
Things don't always pan out the way we plan, so we begin to give up and give in to things we never dreamt ourselves doing. we fall into traps of lies and self pity, we become angry at the world and in turn choose to self destruct.  We fall prey to things like substance abuse and promiscuity, and when things take a nasty turn, we blame the world, or God or whatever and whoever you believe put there. Is that giving up? In the worst way possible but yes!
And so that raises the question; where exactly does giving up and giving in begin? Is it perhaps when you take the first step in throwing away your morals and values because they have brought you nothing but all this pain and suffering? Is it the when you think about your first act of self destruction? When you sigh and let the world take what is left of you? Answer differ for every individual and I have no right whatsoever to judge.

You see, the thing with being FailureProof is that you must know and believe with all your heart that failure is a choice. Missing the mark is inevitable, no matter how hard we work, but failure on the other hand; now that is a choice.

Giving in, for me, begins when you stop to think and start to worry. What was meant to be will be with or without your worrying. But giving up on the other and, now that is a whole new story.!
I speak from personal experience when I say that giving up is not always a bad thing. I had to give up on my dream (or at least I think it was my dream) to study one thing so that my eyes could be opened to the realisation that it was nowhere near what I wanted anyway. I was forced to reconsider my efforts and my life this far and try to imagine where I could've gone wrong. I had to wait and even though I hated every minute of it, I developed something I never thought I would; patience! Now I know what I want, what I really want and the future looks promising.
If you want to give up, then please do so, but only if its giving up on one dream to start chasing a bigger and better one.
Life knocked me down and brought me to my knees. in that year that I was forced to lay low and reconsider my choices thus far, I learnt to cook, I bonded with my family, I made new friends, travelled a little and most importantly, I learnt to wait and I learnt to pray!
Getting back to where I spoke of self destruction and self pity, I know that road all too well. All its speed bumps and nasty curves, all it sharp bends and deep potholes. You see, I was only 14 when  I became a cutter. I didn't want to die, not that I can remember anyway. I just wanted the the world, God, my family to see the mess I had become. What I was molded and forced into. I inflicted pain upon myself day after day hoping someone would ask what was the matter and i would reply with "its all your fault!" I needed something and someone to blame. I was 14 and what I knew about life was dangerous! I heard someone say if I wanted to see the rainbow then I had to learn to dance in the rain. At the time it seemed like it would never end, that my rainbow would never come. How mistaken was I then?! I gave up on cutting when it too become a monotonous chore.
I don't know when exactly did I realise that everything that has a start, has an ending. The flood in Noah's Ark was there to bring life to a dying world. I opened my eyes and realised that yes, life was perhaps a race, but I was so blessed to have people on the sidelines cheering me on. Yes, the same people I wanted to blame for my insecurities and failures were the people who kept me grounded and loved me.

I don't know who is going to read this, or even when. So why am I sharing such an intimate part of myself? I don't really know.. I guess somehow I'm hoping that if my story can touch one life and encourage one soul, just one, is it then not worth it?

I gave up on life, and gave in to the world and it's pressures, the experiences taught me that next time I give, I should give nothing but my all.

So before you give up and give in, remember its always darkest just before its light. Whatever you are going through, whatever you are facing, you can do it!!!