The Truth

TRUTH

The truth. Easy to demand, hard to deal with. 
When we ask for the "truth", do we have any idea what we are asking for:? Are we sure it is what we want? Really want? 
And after we get our truth, can we honestly say we were lied to, when in fact such irrelevant and unimportant , yet equally damning facts were kept from us for the protection of not only ourselves, but also everyone involved. What it all boils down to really is; who are we to judge the choices others make while we have no idea what led to that? Who are we to say "you lied" when in actual fact we knew we wouldn't be able to handle it. to handle "the truth".

"You want the truth?" I asked. The rest of the conversation was blurry and awkward after that. I know I said  a little too much, but I had to. I was forced to reveal a truth that pains me to even think about.

"Smooth seas don't make good sailors" they say. Looking at the text in context, I'm supposed to be one amazing sailor. The week behind me was an extremely tough one, and I'm struggling to understand that its somehow supposed to train me for worse. I'm proud of the way I handled it, although I will always hate myself for the fact that it started to begin with.

The truth! Easy to demand, hard to deal with.
By keeping a piece of information from someone, are we then lying? Had we been confronted and asked, we were probably going to tell the truth, this wonderful mystery so many seek.

Is the truth really what we want, or are we holding to others' "lies" just so we can forget about our own demons for a while? In that light, why???
Is it worth knowing if all it will do is tear up and destroy? Is it worth killing for? Is it worth dying for? When you say you should've been told despite the risk, do you even know what the risks were? Who are you to make such demands?

A bond, so perfectly built on honesty and trust, and so horribly destroyed by a single fact that was totally irrelevant to the current situation. 2 beautiful years, reduced to nothing in a matter of seconds.
You never asked, and I never told you. I cannot be sorry for what I did and what I chose not to do. It wasn't lying, it was protecting you. I didn't tell you because I knew you were going to react in the way you did. Another reason I didn't tell you, the biggest reason I chose to keep that away from you; IT DIDN'T MATTER!!! 

Now that you know what you know, now that you went out to find your own truth, now that you know what I know, you will never look at me the same way. Neither will I. 

You were perfect in every way imaginable. You were understanding and patient and I adored you for that. I had a rough day coming up ahead, but you weren't moved. Your selfishness overclouded your patience and your confrontation had my knees weak. Your accusations felt like a punch to the throat.
You wanted what you wanted, you wanted your "truth", and to hell with my well-being at the time.

I gave you all that I had, and still it wasn't good enough. With all that said, with your selfish and heartless acts of that day, I struggle to find the perfection I once saw in you. I struggle to understand why I looked up to you.
The general argument is, of course, that you never asked me to idolize you, but you see; neither did I. You were just so perfect, I couldn't help it. I think that is the only thing I can say I'm sorry for.

You wanted the truth? You got it. I just hope it was worth it.