Faith

FAITH!!!!

 

"When life hands you lemons, take them. Free stuff is awesome."

A quote I found one day on the internet. For many, well most (myself included) it's quite humerous and innocent. But for a select few, its one of the most beautiful and inspiring pieces ever said.

 

I came to realise it just a few days ago when it seemed like everything in my life was disintergrating. My bestfriend had attempted suicide after she didn't deny spreading rumours about something only she knew. Another close friend was becoming an unprepared parent, I was dangerously close to exams exams and I still didnt understand the work, and I was a few days away from my birthday and I just found out I wouldn't be where I wanted to be to celebrate it. I know all this doesn't seem major, but for an 18 year old trying to deal with life after high school, I was slowly but surely becoming a mess.

I wasn't asking for a great big party or something of that sort, I just wanted to be home, with family on my special day.

 

It all seemed so unreal. As if it was all just a horrible dream and I was going to wake up soon and return to my idyllic life. I lay in bed one night and forced myself to come to terms with the cold reality that it wasn't a dream and it needed to be dealt with.

 

"...free stuff is cool" they said. Here I was, with my bucket of lemons and I was expected to find the joy one would normally get from getting "free stuff"! Where would I begin? What was there to find? The answer: FAITH!!

 

When we get to our wits' end, we discover that that's where God lives.

 

You see, faith isn't about what you think you deserve. It isnt about "I did 20 good deeds, and so I deserve 20 blessings."

Faith, true faith, throws the "I believe what I see" theory entirely and completely out of the window. It puts in disregard eveerything that you have heard from the world and leaves you with what your heart tells you. It strips you naked of all your fears and steals your innermost anger and despair.

 

It doesn't guarantee no tears, in fact, tears become such a reality that you learn to cherish them because you KNOW breakthrough is coming. Faith is the only thing that lets you know it is darkest just before it is light. You learn to embrace your pain and find your passion for life through it.You grow to become an actual and active part of your feelings and emotions. Not only do you survive, but you thrive! And then you come to realise that had it not been for those "lemons", you wouldn't be the strong individual that you are today. Because of those lemons, you are able to appreciate life more, and make the little things count.

 

Whenb you get over it and manage to walk away, don't leave with nothing. Take the strength and courage you gained and wrap it up with the lesson you got. No matter how big or small your troubles are, there is always a silver lining.

 

"When life hands you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool."

You Can Never Escape Yourself

WHEN IS "SORRY" SIMPLY NOT ENOUGH??

 

When is asking for forgiveness asking for too much? when do we realise we overstepped the boundary line and crossed over to way too much? What does one do when one becomes trapped and stuck knee deep in ones own self-inflicted drama? What do we do when the one secret that we swore we would take to the grave is the one thing slowly but surely leading us there?

 

Do we tell another lie and hope to free ourselves even if its for a little while? But the burden becomes a physical pain and an obstacle blocking spiritual growth and maturity. The guilt and shame are a constant reminder of your stupidity.

 

The general argument is that we tell the truth, and it will all be over. But will it, really? Will playing "good girl" solve anything at all? The truth is not only going to hurt, but it will surely destroy.

 

When one acknowledges ones mistake and pledges to never go back there again, is it not enough? Why is there still a deficiency? What exactly should be done?

A lie told by an unfit teenager, remained hidden for years. Now as a young adult, it still haunts her. Guilt and shame drown her as she starts doubting her own credibility and sanity. She has built friendships, relationships and partnerships (all true and honest) with people who believed this lie was gospel truth. Should she tell the truth, chances are she loses everything but lives freely. But then again, what is a clear conscience worth if one is alone?

 

She needs to stop running from herself, but where would she begin should she decide to settle down? Does she confess the truth and ask for forgiveness? She was a mere teenager and surely no one can hold her responsible for the crazy stories she told? If only it were that simple. It is not so, and she is responsible!

 

Sometimes, I'm sorry I lied isn't enough. And even if it kills her, this secret she will take to her grave!