Finding strength in sorrow

STRONG

We had been friends for many years. We talked about anything and everything imaginable. O f course we often fought, but nothing we couldn't recover from. Oh, how I miss our long chats and popcorn on the stairs. The long walks we took when we were supposed to be studying, and the blame games that followed when our midnight oils left us grouchy and moody.

The laughter, the innocence and the comfort. We were best friends and nothing could separate us.That was what we thought until today 2 years ago

We fought, and unlike all the other times, we failed to recover. I doubt we ever will. Yes, we forgave and forgetting is a path we are still discovering.

Why am I telling you all this, you may ask? Well, under normal circumstances, I'd be the first to say "friendship is one of the greatest gifts ever. Don't let a stupid little argument come in between something so beautiful and true. Fight for your friend and fight for what you don't want to lose." , or something along those lines.
Well, you see, experience has taught me that "normal" doesn't exist. There are no "normal circumstances" and "normal people". I am different from the next person (thankfully) and our friendship was one of a kind! I would love to fight if that would change anything. I would love to have another stupid conversation about the weather and music and parents and future plans, with my best friend, and I am sure he would love to as well, but we can't. You see, had it not been for that fight, that argument, we would never have discovered how strong we are as individuals.

That night, truths were revealed and scandals exposed. We had to decide what was more important and so we painfully realised that even our priorities are different. After so many years of being inseparable, we stood and questioned what could've possibly kept us so close. We realised that as the years went on, we had become our own persons but still fitted perfectly with each other and the rest of our circle.

I knew that being being his friend after what had happened would mean having everyone else turn their backs on me. Little did I know tat he was in the exact same boat.

We chose to terminate our friendship not because of the people or their pressures, but because we knew that even though we tried, it would never return to the way they once had been.

All that was today, 2 years ago.

The hurt was overwhelming and the loss unbearable. We had so many plans together and survived so many sticky (literally) situations. We got into and out of trouble together and navigated our way through life, self-discovery, learnt emotional stability, and with each day that passed, we understood the meaning of friendship in its purest and truest form. i will be grateful for the few years I had him as a companion and brother.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is; people will come into ones life for reasons not always clear to oneself.  I had to lose him to know what he meant to me and understand the lessons I had learnt by being his friend. This may sound cruel and a bit heartless but; not all friendships are meant to last forever. We tried to save what we could but it had long become clear that our roles in each others' life scripts were over. We had no part to play anymore.

I'm not sad anymore. I'm thankful, because I know now that it is okay. I understand that in order to know what you have, sometimes you have to let it go .

Of all the lessons life has taught, only a few are worth sharing with the world. I have learnt that the strongest aren't those who don't cry. The strongest people are those who know the difference ween a time to fight and a time to let go because you know it wasn't meant to be.

So, whoever you are, and whatever you are going through, think about this; how strong are you right now? Are you holding on and fighting for the right reasons?